Hey there, it’s Kevin again.
If you’ve ever been to a military funeral or a veteran’s graveside service, you’ve seen it. After Taps plays, the honor guard carefully lifts the flag from the casket and begins folding it. They don’t just fold it any which way. They fold it into a tight triangle — thirteen folds in all — until nothing shows but the blue field of stars.
Thirteen folds. When it is done right, only the stars remain.
That finished triangle is meant to resemble the cocked hats worn by soldiers in the Continental Army. It’s deliberate. It’s precise. And when it’s done right, it’s one of the most powerful moments of the entire service.
A lot of people have heard that each of the thirteen folds has a specific meaning. You’ll find versions of that script floating around online and at ceremonies. The first fold for life, the second for eternal life, the third for the veterans who gave part of their lives in service, and so on, all the way to the final fold that leaves the stars facing up as a reminder of “In God We Trust.”
It’s a meaningful tradition, and many families find comfort in hearing it. But it’s worth knowing that those specific meanings are a ceremonial custom, not something written into the official Flag Code. Different honor guards and organizations use slightly different versions. The folds themselves are real and traditional. The assigned meanings grew around them over time.
The finished fold — blue field out, stars facing up.
What happens next
What is official is what happens next. Once the flag is folded, it is presented to the next of kin. That moment is the heart of the ceremony for a lot of families. A uniformed service member — usually from the same branch the veteran served in — steps forward, holds the folded flag out, and offers words on behalf of the President, the service, and a grateful nation. The exact wording was standardized across the branches years ago, but the meaning is the same every time: this flag is a symbol of appreciation for the service your loved one gave.
Who receives the flag
The flag goes to the primary next of kin. The order of precedence is generally:
- Surviving spouse
- Children (oldest first)
- Parents
- Siblings (oldest first)
- Other relatives or, in some cases, a close friend or associate if no family claims it
Only one official burial flag is provided by the Department of Veterans Affairs for each eligible veteran. If a family wants additional flags for other relatives, those have to be purchased privately. The one presented at the service is the keepsake.
The flag does not go into the ground. It goes home with the family.
I’ve watched that presentation more than once. It’s quiet. It’s heavy. And it stays with people. The flag that draped the casket doesn’t go into the ground. It goes home with the family — a tangible reminder of service, of sacrifice, and of the respect the nation still tries to show.
That’s the folding ceremony, and that’s who receives the flag.
Next time we’ll talk about half-staff rules — who can order the flag lowered, for how long, and some of the common mistakes people make with it.
Thanks for reading.
Kevin Laughrin
Medically retired LSSN, VFA-103 “The Jolly Rogers”
Marketing and Communications Director
www.veteranvalorcoffee.com
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